The Top 5 Sandwiches IN AMERICA

Apparently The Today Show has been counting down the top sandwiches in America all summer. If you already knew this, you need to stop watching The Today Show. Maybe fill your free morning time with an enriching hobby of some sort.

Anyhow, they've narrowed it down to their Top 5 picks. A pretty decent selection, but far from ideal. Here are one man's gripes:

Where are the sandwiches not made from pigs or cows?

If you have to ship Maine lobster all the way to California to make the best lobster roll, you are doing it wrong. Also, it's SUPPOSED to have mayo, otherwise you're just eating a lobster sandwich.

While a "philly cheesesteak" consisting of "sliced filet mignon topped with provolone, sautéed onions, bacon, lettuce and tomato, finished with a sriracha mayonnaise and served on a ciabatta roll" sounds delicious, it is so far divergent from what an actual philly cheesesteak should be that it actually kind of offends me, and I'm from California.

I know everything tastes better when bacon is involved, that's why it's lazy.

Muffuletta and pastrami on rye, you're ok with me.