Hamburgers: tastiness and crazy coworkers.

The other week I went to Kirk's Steakburgers with Jacob for lunch.
It was a tasty, though not amazing burger. Just good meat, well cooked. Plus, there's a nice condiment bar to which I could pile on the extra lettuce my inner bunny rabbit loves.

mmmm. extra lettuce, lotsa ketchup.

Also, the onion strings and fries are quite delicious. It was pretty solid burger experience overall. I was going to can this review because at best, Kirk's is solidly above mediocre, but nothing really worth writing about.

Then, I had a conversation with my crazy coworker, and I got inspired Now, she has stated in the past that she loves hamburgers. She and "the husband," as she calls him could eat that shit morning, noon, and night.

They even ate hamburgers for Thanksgiving Dinner! Isn't that wild! OMG! (her emphasis, not mine)

Anyway, we got into this conversation about burgers. It wenna little sumthin like this:

Crazy: Linda and I went out to lunch today, it was neat!
Me: Oh... neat. Where'd you go?
C: This place called Maltby's in downtown Los Altos, ever heard of it?

I should stop for a minute and say I know this place pretty well. I've been several times. My dad and I enjoy going here. And getting their burgers. They're really good. The service has always been solid, and sometimes they give you free soup. They also have trivial pursuit cards. OMG! Anyway:


M: (trying to play it all cool like) yeah, I think I know that place.
C: Ughhhh! It was just awful.
M: Oh no. What happened? What'd you order?
C: The hamburger. It was terrible. The service was awful and slow. The burger had no flavor whatsoever.
M: (immediately suspicious) No flavor?
C: Yeah, just meat, lettuce tomato and a bun. No sauce or anything like that.
M: Sauce?
C: Yeah, I'm crazy for the special sauce. I also loooove double bacon western burger at Carl's Jr. It's so tasty.
M: Carl's Jr?

So anyway, the rest of the conversation was her blabbering and me devolving with incredulous responses of "mmrruuah???"

But, maybe I'm being the dick. Is a regular hamburger or cheeseburger boring to anyone else? Does it need to be slathered in extra shit and given "flavor"? Maybe I'm an elitist. Well, I am. I dislike mcd's and carls jr hamburgers with a passion. They're pretty shitty, you have to admit. People that eat there, though, have to admit, even if they like them, that they're eating some shitty shit. People have to know that better burgers are out there, right? Fuck.

In other news, I'm compiling a list of things my coworker considers too expensive. On the list for starters: Carl's Jr.
check alexroome.com for that update.

Blogging

New blog. [redacted. for now] Not a replacement. Just new. I can talk about everything there. I might talk about sandwiches, but I'll talk about other stuff too.

Is Sandwich, Is Not Sandwich.

We've had some interesting comments in our is sandwich is not sandwich debate lately.

Firstly, I actually agree with treywrage on his earlier point. I do hold my assertion that he AND his philosophy degree are adorable though. (See "crude taxonomy" on the comments)

Anyhow, I tend to be a loose constructionist when it comes to sandwich categorization.

I do have some notable exceptions to this though.

This area has been well tread, but, those bullshit-ornamental-sandwich-animal-face-whatevers, which have been talked to death by pat, will not, nor will they ever, earn the title of sandwich by me.

Pat can call me a goddamn fascist and other names, but in the end, he'll be eating the shitty-sandwiches.

Like many of you, I am somewhat tenuous in adding wraps, such as pita pockets, to the sandwich family, but there's often good sandwich intent there.

We know for sure a burrito is most definitely not a sandwich. There's firm judicial precedent.

There are many pita pockets, however, that are more like sandwiches than burritos, except for their use of unleavened bread.

It's a difficult question, my friends, and I'd be willing to a lot of sandwiches and wraps to find out.

A burger is definately sandwich. No argument there.

Unless it's a boca burger. Then it's a doorstop.

Or maybe a paperweight.

A bookend?

mmm breakfast sliders

I took logic in college, and it helped me figure out the following thing when ordering food the other day.

I was in San Francisco, the night before having seen the Comedians of Comedy with Jessica. We went to a the Nob Hill Grill, a place I knew to be delicious, despite Roome's 3rd law of eating at restaurants, which states never dine at a place of business with a rhyme in it's name. Anyhow, before ordering, I knew two things:

a.) sandwiches are delicious
b.) breakfast can be delicious

As you can see, I had much to mull over. The menu contained many delicious items, two of which were BOTH breakfast AND sandwiches. One was an Eggs Benedict, the other, a special, were Breakfast Sliders.

Okay, this post has gone on too long. I just deleted three paragraphs that below this one, which were garbageyer than the pervious, so I'll wrap it up, in non-sentences.

sliders, wonderful.
eggs, perfectly cooked, sausage spicy, salty, great.
brioche bread, tasty.
home fries, excellent.

Picture above, camera phone.

The McLobster is Real

(snagged off John Beales)

I do not have to tell you what a delicious and decadent treat a Lobster Roll is, but this, this is just offensive to lobsters and to rolls.

Virgin Mary in PB&J

Thank you, Internet.

Grilled Cheese and Disco Fries

As mentioned previously, grilled cheese sandwiches are delicious, especially late at night, and even more especially after the imbibing of certain beverages.

The grilled cheese pictured above was purchased one recent night at Daisy's Diner, the 24 hour eatery closest to my residence. It was constructed of swiss cheese and wheat bread, and tastefully accompanied by one pickle spear and a plastic cup of slaw.

This particular night, however, called for something more. Disco Fries, a local delicacy constructed of french fries, melted american cheese, and brown gravy.

Don't fight it.

Is Sandwich, Is Not Sandwich: Pita Pocket

(photo by roboppy)

The floor is open for debate.

WHAT SAY THE MASSES?!!>??

Pulled Produce Sandwich

No soup at work the other day, which led to the use of slightly squishy cucumber, clover sprouts shipped without a lid, cayenne spiked hummus, and soon to be past the sell by date whole wheat pita.

This is the home version.

another attempt at a tuna sandwich, for you, the reader

Composed of the following:
Tuna
Veganaise
Celery
Red Onion
Curry Powder
Mustard
Whole Wheat Bread

I am telling you, America, curry powder is the tastiest tuna sandwich trick out there. Any other good additions?

Is not sandwich.

Apparently we have readers.

I know, shocking.

View their (his) comments here.

If you'll click the link, you'll see some lovely craftwork made out of items commonly found in sandwiches.


One of them being this thing:


Is this a sandwich?

Without a doubt, No. Listen, Dan-o and I aren't some sandwich nazis trying to force rigid rules and make and uber-sando world of perfectly formed sandwiches that all fit a myopic sandwichworldview.

Other than the two crucial (yet loosely defined) sandwich ingredients, bread and filling, two important factors come into play.

Firstly, Intent.

Did the sandwich maker intend to make a sandwich? Or were they attempting something else, like a wrap, a piece of art, a sushi roll, or whatever?

Secondly, in the words of Harry Caray, Would you eat it?

Does it look tasty? Does it contain ingredients that please your senses?

In the case of these sando-animal creations, the answer to both is a resounding no.

The person who crafted them, as creative as they are, didn't intend them to be sandwiches. It's an artwork, not an edible.

Secondly, I won't eat a sando made of bologna and wonderbread. It's an insult to the memory of the eponymous Earl.
That said, I would never accuse a person who likes bologna in between two slices of bread of not eating a sandwich (heathens), unless of course, they made it into a a mouse or a cat first, then they should just go back to art school or pre-school, wherever they teach such horrible things.

I understand this is a loose definition, and it may not satisfy some. It's hard to accept, I know, that some things just aren't sandwiches.

Oh, one other thing. Though the address of this blog may mislead you, meat is not a requirement for a sandwich. There's plently of delicious veggie sandos out there that fully qaulify.

Anyway,



This is a man who knows about sandwiches.

Thanksgiving Leftover Blues?

This post isn't about Sandwiches, but it is about Thanksgiving. And Thanksgiving is about turkey. And turkey is about sandwiches.

So I've been to a lot of supermarkets lately, and there's a common thread throughout many of the cooking/household/women's magazines lately. There is always a "Great tips for those Thanksgiving leftovers," or "What to do with all that turkey."

ugh.

Like it's that difficult to figure it out. I've got a tip: Put it in your mouth.

Yeah. Eat it. It was delicous the first time. It's going to be delicious a day, or even a week later.

Where I come from, we have pre and post Thanksgivings, all, hopefully, with enough food leftover to eat it again. Thanksgiving is probably one of the most delicious holidays ever. Everyone loves it. I even know a Jihadist Islamofacist who loves it. Let me tell you, he knows what to do with the leftovers.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.

Do you seriously need a recipe to figure out what to do with the left overs? Sweet-potato turkey fritata? Turkey salad? Potato-turkey latake?

No. Fuck! What a way to ruin a wonderful meal.

You basically have three delcious options to use those leftovers. All pretty much pertain to this blog, and all a pretty much required.

1.) Just eat it like you did on Thanksgiving. Easy.

2.) Sandwich. On top of the turkey, you can stick as many sidedishes as you want in this sandwich. I recommend potatoes, stuffing green beans and gravy as a start.

3.) Soup. Don't throw away that carcass yet, no! Boil it for a good while till you have a stock, add a little leftover turkey meat, vegetables, some noodles, spices, whatever. Soup is easy. You could probably leave the house for 3 days with a big pot of soup on the stove and come back to some amazing stuff.

Anyway, thats my rant. I'm really excited for my Thanksgivings this year.

Tuna Sandwich Tuesday

Day off from work today, and I made a delicious tuna sandwich for my lunch. I took some pictures. Here are some reasons why no one will ever see these pictures: Dislodged memory card. Broken viewscreen. Inability to understand a loud beep as a sign of error without visual explanation of said error.

Anyhow, it was delicious. Also pretty.

Tuna, veganaise, curry powder, mutsu apple. Real good.

Not Sandwich Related: British v. French

30 reasons why British hate the French

awesome.

America, Fuck Yeah!

This is why the Brits think Americans are stupid, obnoxious people.

They are absolutely right.

This isn't totally random, there is a mention of sandwiches in the article.

More Wonderful Sandwiches from Limeys

I know hating on the Brits, (my countrymen, full disclosure, nbd) for their lack of culinary subtlety and/or decency is really, really easy, but seriously, sandwiches are so easy to make tasty. Sandwiches if done right are the perfect food. That's a big if.

I'm somewhat astounded about how many times I've said "only the Brits could come up with a sandwich that terrible."

However, I could be wrong. Ladies and Gentlemen, for your approval "The Chip Butty".

French fries, or "chips" as our brothers across the pond call them are delicious. Bread is delicious. This, I may have to try.

Random Aside: Why do those asshole Republicans get to take credit for hating the French and renaming the French-invented food to more Anglo sound names? The British have been doing it centuries. Literally, centuries. Look it up. They hated the French back when Freedom was free, before anyone made hating French the cool thing to do.

Anywhoo, I'm gonna make up one of these Chip Butties and give it a try. Call me a hypocrite, but at least it ain't mayo and bread.

Give me back my Expo markers.

Last friday, a nice enough looking young lady came into my office, introduced herself as Iris, said that she worked in an office upstairs, and requested to borrow a few dry-erase markers for "just a bit".

It is Wednesday. I am still missing my Expos.

In other news. Here's a partial reaction to the Best Sandwiches In America from the Today Show.

The people of Philly speak out. Rocky would be proud.

Vegan Breakfast Sandwich

I get these for free from work sometimes, and they're pretty darned good. It's a spelt english muffin served with garlic dill tofu, barbecue tempeh (I assume for bacon effect), avocado, and caramelized onions. It's tasty, and keeps well in the fridge for a day or two. Thanks, work.

The Fuzz hates sandwiches

A simple sandwich vendor in England tries to sell his delicious wares to hungry school children, and the evil schoolteachers got the police involved.

They probably only serve mayo sandwiches at the school...

If only Mr. Bean was the chef.

Poor Sandwich Man.

My camera works. I'm getting a torta for lunch today.

Sunday Evening Torta

Tonight was my first Torta. You'd think this would have happened earlier in my life, seeing that I'm from California, where delicious and authentic Mexican food is available around every corner. I suppose my devotion to tacos and burritos prevented me from venturing into the unknown realm of Mexican Sandwiches, but all that changed tonight.

For my first Torta, I headed to Tacos Nuevo Mexico, our local favorite and the only place on the east coast I have ever obtained quality Mexican food. (It is seriously impossible to get decent burritos out here, no one knows what they're doing.)

The Torta ... is delicious. I went for Carne Asada, but the Torta can feature nearly anything as its primary ingredient. It's served up with beans, cheese, onions, lettuce, sour cream, quacamole, tomatoes, and chilies. The chilies. My word, the chilies. Just the right amount of heat to round out what is essentially the entire Mexican palate shoved into a sandwich.

Torta? Why was I always so wary of you? You are great.